Fat Frog Diary

You wouldn't think making appointments would be stressful, would you? Sometimes they aren't. Sometimes they are. For instance --if you put aside my deserved needle phobia-- the recommended bloodwork lab I have used before has a website where you can schedule your appointment in advance. This is really helpful when you're going to get a fasting blood test at 6:45 AM with no coffee allowed. I don't have the brains God gave badly retarded rocks at that hour without caffeine. However, I'm happy to say I got an appointment at that ungodly hour for that reason, and on a day I'd have to be in that part of town anyway at a later and more decent hour. There will be plenty of time to fuel up on caffeine at a coffee shop before I shoot over to the next destination. Best of all, I got the appointment on a day my DH usually has off. He'll be able to come with me, because I will have to be forcibly propelled through the door of the lab. Can't be helped. I don't fi...

Well, the good doctor has once again proven to me why I like her so much. She’s on my side and promises to make me jump through as few hoops as possible. I took the fussing out she gave me meekly. I deserved it because I’d not gotten a test she felt very important to my continued good health – a liver function test. It’s a sonogram, so I have no good excuse why I didn’t go. Probably forgot about it, to be honest. No matter. I’ll go with good spirits now to the (dreaded) blood test, mammogram (it’s that time of year, so may as well get it done, and the digital one is almost comfortable) and liver function test. I’ll get the blood test over as quickly as possible, just to ease my stress. The other two, I’ll try to schedule simultaneously since they’re done at the same location. Doc C however is adamant about one thing. She insists on the lap-band surgery. She is most emphatic that lap-band is safer, heals faster, and is reversible in the event of emergency. Would I prefer the more perman...

So, tomorrow I take the first step toward bariatric surgery. I've got the appointment with my General Practitioner, and I'm ready for a fight. I don't know anyone who just walked in, asked for and got the surgery without having to jump through a bunch of nonsensical hoops. Seems like you have to prove you're desperate by being turned into a pin cushion, baring your soul to a therapist, and submitting to the diet imposed by a dietician (which was for me in direct conflict with the orders of my doctor not to eat green veggies). No, I'm not kidding on that last. You see, I have to take Coumadin, a blood thinner, for the rest of my life. The vitamin K present in many green veggies counterracts the Coumadin. Therefore, no salads, spinach, brussells sprouts, or broccoli for me. Last time I tried to sneak a cup of brussells sprouts, I had a low Coumadin count for two weeks, which meant four weeks of running to the doc every few days until my Coumadin count settled back in ...

This is a typical good news and bad news situation. The good news: My pulmonary doc says there is an alternative to coumadin available so they can't deny me the surgery because I once had DVT. The bad news: The alternative to coumadin for both during and after surgery is a (shiver) subcutaneous injection in the belly twice daily. DH would have to give me the shots even after I get home. He can do it, no problem, but the first shot would have to be before 6 AM when he leaves for work. Before coffee. Oh, the cruelty! Talk about a rude awakening. I had nightmares last night about all those needles. The nurses told me the needles are "teeny tiny" and "won't be like getting an IV or a regular shot." My mind's eye sees the glint of silver and folds up, wailing like a small child before the boogey man. Sometimes my courage fails me. Did you know it's impossible to breath using a CPAP machine when you awaken sobbing in terror at 4 AM?

Well, I've done it. I called the doc and made the appointment to discuss bariatric surgery. After years of yo-yo dieting, GERD, sleep apnea, blood sugar issues, gall bladder surgery, varicose veins, I'm still with a BMI of greater than 40+. Sad isn't it? Well, I've finally given up. I'm tired of doing without the seemingly normal foods, drinking herb tea instead of a cola, searching in the back of the grocery store for the sugar-free creamer for my coffee, and trying to content myself with a sliver of birthday cake (with all the frosting removed)on my own damn birthday. I even tried bulimea. Before anyone yells at me or sends me frantic emails, I stopped. It's just not in me to manage to sneak off and throw up when I overindulge. DH got upset when he caught me. Not worth the trouble. Anyway, I'm tired of being fat, and I'm tired of spending more money than I make buying useless diet foods. For me alone, Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig would cost more than $30...