Fat Frog Diary

Okay, I confess. You haven't seen much of me lately because I've been naughty. I fell off the wagon and piled on ten pounds. Could I blame stress? Yeah, but the point is that no one put a gun to my head and made me eat more carbs. I did it. I think the point is to forgive myself and get back on the bandwagon. There will be days like today (Thanksgiving) where I'll indulge. However, I can say no to certain things like mashed potatoes and dressing and say yes to things like more turkey. I had just a sliver of pumpkin pie instead of pigging out. For me, total denial means I get resentful and eventually defiant. Giving in to a little and having what I want in reasonable portions means I avoid a self-hating binge in secret later. So, now I have to come up with strategies to increase my calorie burn when I can't control what I eat. That means increasing my exercise. That's as easy as getting out of the chair. I can take a walk or dance to my MP3 player. I can do a lot of ...

Yesterday was One of Those Days. You know the kind I mean, where it seemed the whole world conspired to ensure you couldn't get anything done? Many of you know I'm an ardent fan of FlyLady.net. (Go on, go look. It's okay. I'll wait.) Thank goodness for those lessons on management. I'd already done my 5 Minute Room Rescue, done my Mission, and had shined my sinks. I'd even managed a little control of a large Hot Spot. (Yes, I'm deliberately using the jargon to make you look it up.) You see, this isn't all about cooking and recipes. Occasionally, it's about stopping to take stock and overcome a challenge. My weight loss challenge lately has been about learning new coping mechanisms. Before, when I was morbidly obese, I coped by consoling myself with food. I lied to myself and said I was providing comfort and love via food to my family like a good GRITS (Girls Raised In The South) do. Liar, Liar! Now that I'm much thinner and healthier, I still ...

I'll repeat this on LapBandTalk.com, but I'm guessing my bariatric surgeon, Dr. Michael Baptista, is getting more and more successful. He's moved from his partnership with another doctor and into his own spiffy new office MUCH more conveniently located for me, in Arlington right off 9A and Monument in the Brooks Rehab Building. Now, I'm not saying his former partner was a bad doctor-- not with that many awards-- but I didn't like the other doctor and that's the honest truth. I'm allowed my opinions, and my two experiences with the former partner were unpleasant. Now I feel much freer to help Dr. Baptista with his newer patients! I'm pleased to say Dr. Baptista asked me to start attending the monthly support group so I can provide cheerfulness and inspiration to a group that has recently begun to focus on negativity in his opinion. One subject he mentioned specifically I could help with was the low carb diet. Many have difficulty in going beyond what...

This girl is telling it like it is!! I refuse to reinvent the wheel. Wendy Tippens tells you the truth about banding. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKfp7aovYkM&NR=1

Are you finding it more and more difficult to feed your family with ever-rising food costs and all the health experts screaming at us to eat healthier? Who can afford to go to the fast food joints these days? Not us, even if my band would allow me to eat there. So, I'm planning ahead a whole lot better. We're eating less meat, and less expensive cuts when we do. No one will die if they don't have beef every night, even if I do have a husband who believes that "Real Food Says Moo!" He'll live a lot longer this way, if I don't kill him myself for his comments. So from now on, here's my plan: 1. Sunday-- Breakfast for Dinner. Eggs, Pancakes, Sausages, Bacon, Biscuits, and many other Egg dishes will be featured. DH can survive quite well on frittatas, quiches, and egg casseroles if I feel like working that hard. Eggs are inexpensive. Add veggies, cheeses, and a bread for those not on low-carb diets, and you have a meal fit for kings. 2. Mondays-- B...

According to my bathroom scale this morning, my weight has now dropped to 242, down from my official start of 286. That's 44 pounds, gone forever. More significantly, my BMI has now dropped below 40, and I'm no longer considered "morbidly obese" and am now merely (!) "obese." BMI charts seem to differ, but I wanted to be sure that, by all their numbers, I'm now simply "obese." Uhhh...thanks? In some ways, it's significant that I'm merely on the chart at all! Some BMI charts don't even go as high as 250 lbs, as if such a weight does not bear noticing. It should be noticed. In fact, moreso than the weights closer to the ideal, IMHO! Those who are morbidly obese need MORE help, not less! Am I saying they (formerly, "we") need sympathy? Not necessarily. However, because there are issues --health and social are the two main ones-- the morbidly obese need to be on the charts and in the sights of the medical community. Not to men...

I knew I'd recorded my heaviest weight on a weight tracker, but I couldn't remember where until I stumbled on it today. There it is at the bottom of the chart on the right -- 298 lbs, a little over a year ago now. I've lost 54 pounds since that day, and more comes off when I follow my diet. No one believes me when I tell them I've already lost 54 pounds. Like, nothing counts before your surgery date. A year of struggle is a year of my life, and it darn sure does count. Someday, when I'm in those skinny jeans or daringly wearing a bikini (yeah, at my age!) I want to have the proof I used to weight just shy of 300 pounds because no one will believe me then, either. LOL!

This first part is the same as what I posted at http://www.incredibleshrinkingauthors.com/ I’m doing the happy dance! After weeks of no weight loss results because my willpower was weaker than a kitten, I finally had a temper tantrum. I was tired of being sabotaged by my darlings, who do not have to watch their carbs. While Randy is thin as a rake and Dante not so thin, both have the right to eat as they please. Before my tantrum, they’d eat their carb-loaded goodies right in front of me, leave the food out where I had to look at it, desire it, and eventually snitch some of it. Worse, they’d actually encourage me to cheat by offering to share or whining when I made healthy meals. I absolutely must shrink my liver. If I don’t shrink the liver, the surgery must be cancelled. Therefore, it’s imperative that my weak willpower must be shored up with something. Finally, I had a breakthrough and a tantrum. After I “explained” to Randy how he and Dante were unconsciously sabotaging my diet, he...

Dieting requires a certain morbid sense of humor. Now that I understand WHY I have to go low carb and how important it is, I'm more willing to stick to it. Still, I can sympathize with the blue guy. Dammit, I want my sugar fix. Time to make a batch of the low carb peanut butter cookies or something. Lena

An email conversation with Mary Winter has reminded me of my diet journey. I recognize myself as a borderline bulimic. I can and have deliberately gone into the bathroom just to chuck up what I ate as a way to control myself and my diet. No justifications, no excuses. I am what I am. Ironically, my bulimia was never serious enough to actually cause me to lose more than twenty pounds, tops. That behavior continues to this day, upon occasion. Unfortunately, for me Weight Watchers was a complete and total bust. The only thing lighter was my wallet after going to those $25 a week meetings and standing on the scale in front of God and everybody with no weight lost. The humiliation was more than I could stand, so I stopped going. Believe it or not, the Richard Simmons Food Mover did work. In fact, it worked very well. Was it the fact that I had Dante doing the diet with me? I'm positive of that. He'd come home from work and we would immediately go into a cheerful game of one-up-man-s...

I do believe this will all be worth it in the end, but as I sit here waiting at 6:30 AM to drive over to my friend Karen's house to walk, I cannot help but envy those who can slurp down lattes and munch on potato chips without consequence. I am more physically fit and prepared for my surgery when it finally comes, but the waiting and sweating in the Florida heat is difficult to bear. Sometimes I think Karen and I fight our battles with only each other for support. I cannot count on my husband's support. He's admitted outright that he'd prefer I remain overweight, because he remembers what I look like when I get close to my medically correct weight. He's terrified someone will steal me away. Doesn't say much for his opinion of my loyalty, not to mention over 25 years of marriage, but I forgive him. That's his lack of self-esteem talking, not a low opinion of me. I bought a bikini pattern for myself to sew. Not that I'd wear such a thing in public! I don...

When is the right time to tell folks what you're planning, and who do you tell? I don't want to shout to the rooftops my plans to have bariatric surgery. I know what some folks will say. "She's taking the easy way out." No, this is the last act of a desperate woman whose health is in severe danger because of the obesity she's suffered with since adolesence. I've warned my editor that I'm trying, but don't have a date yet. I've told my daughters and my mother. One or two don't understand how important this is to me. I'm so tired tonight. We worked in the garden until both my DH and I were sweating, sodden heaps. Maybe that's why I'm depressed and restless.