Waiting and Walking

I do believe this will all be worth it in the end, but as I sit here waiting at 6:30 AM to drive over to my friend Karen's house to walk, I cannot help but envy those who can slurp down lattes and munch on potato chips without consequence.

I am more physically fit and prepared for my surgery when it finally comes, but the waiting and sweating in the Florida heat is difficult to bear. Sometimes I think Karen and I fight our battles with only each other for support.

I cannot count on my husband's support. He's admitted outright that he'd prefer I remain overweight, because he remembers what I look like when I get close to my medically correct weight. He's terrified someone will steal me away. Doesn't say much for his opinion of my loyalty, not to mention over 25 years of marriage, but I forgive him. That's his lack of self-esteem talking, not a low opinion of me.

I bought a bikini pattern for myself to sew. Not that I'd wear such a thing in public! I don't care how much weight I lose. That's for sunbathing in my own backyard, now that medical opinion now says a person should get a little sun on their bodies and not hide in the shadows like we've been taught for the past few decades.

Well, time to walk.


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