Fat Frog Diary

I stepped on the scales this morning. My poor old bathroom scale may be three days older than God, but it works. It says I've lost a few pounds. I may have finally found the system that will allow me to lose the weight to please the surgeons. Whereas before I dutifully counted only the carbs without counting calories as recommended, I seemed to not lose weight. These past few days I began meticulously logging everything that went into my mouth that had a scrap of carb or calorie. I've managed to stay below 1400 calories and 30 carbs, but it hasn't been easy. I still feel it will be impossible to avoid falling off the wagon on Thanksgiving. The best I can do is lessen the damage by controlling what I can, such as eating across the plate. By starting with the lowest carb items like the turkey, then the veggies, and "saving a sliver of room" for one small sample of dessert, perhaps I can avoid being a pig on stuffing, mashed potatoes, and six different kinds of pie.

NOTE: This is a "Do Ahead" recipe. You must marinate the beef in the ziploc bag to get the juiciness and flavor correct. I recommend putting the beef in the bag the night before, or early in the morning. I separated out the potatoes and carrots, placing them at the opposite end of the roasting pan from the brussels sprouts. When I removed the meat to rest, I also scooped out the sprouts and put them in another microwave/oven safe serving bowl and placed that in the oven at 200F. I served myself my portion of the meat. Then I called in the hyenas-- er, sorry, starving menfolk. When I'd "eaten across the plate" (as my dietician taught me) and finished my meat serving, then I went back and retrieved my sprouts from the oven. They were, of course, warm and delicious. By avoiding the vicinity of the potatoes and carrots, I saved myself the temptation.

Just how much humiliation am I supposed to take? Today was a group session at the surgeon’s. You know what I learned? What an ass one of the surgeons is. That’s it. After the weigh in, in which I gained a whole half-pound, we had the usual and repetitive lecture on how important it is we shrink our livers. I was feeling pretty good about my weight, actually. I’d had a full bladder and heavy winter clothing on, but the scale said only half a pound. I could live with that. I knew also I’d had a few too many macadamia nuts over the past few days and vowed to cut them out. Finally, the surgeon appeared. He was as handsome as rumor had claimed. I had a hard time understanding his accent, since he was from South Africa. The Afrikaners I’ve known can seem to mumble a bit to our American ears. I’d had an Afrikaner teacher back in real estate school and I’d adored him, so I was prepared to like the surgeon, Dr. Cywes. How wrong I was. After introducing himself and matching faces to files, he im

Wow!! Only 13g for a pumpkin pie!! I found this in DiabeticLiving magazine just last night and just had to try it.

This is "bread-like" enough to satisfy the craving without totally blowing your diet. Polenta responds well to many variations of sauces, but sometimes a simple homemade salsa is all you need.

I also posted this one as part of my Depraved Duchess blog, I think. Well, no matter. This is a good basic recipe for getting over the resentment of having that big, fluffy pile of mashed potatoes. Instead, you can have a big, fluffy pile of "fauxtatoes." Hey, don't look at me like that. It's pretty darn good.

This recipe is so easy!! Basically, all you do is brown up the chops, put them in the oven on 200F to keep warm, throw in the soup, scrape up those delicious brown bits off the bottom of the pan, add the mushrooms, and serve the sauce over the chops. Yes, that's all there is to it. I've been known to skip the soup and just add a bit of rose wine (Rose-aye wine, that is, since I can never get that little symbol over the "e") and use that to scrape up the bits. Then again, plain old chicken stock works, too. Keep this around. Change around the veggies and the liquids. This one really helps keep the low-carb life from being boring. Lena

While these show Halloween cutouts, think outside the box to all holiday cookies!

This first part is the same as what I posted at http://www.incredibleshrinkingauthors.com/ I’m doing the happy dance! After weeks of no weight loss results because my willpower was weaker than a kitten, I finally had a temper tantrum. I was tired of being sabotaged by my darlings, who do not have to watch their carbs. While Randy is thin as a rake and Dante not so thin, both have the right to eat as they please. Before my tantrum, they’d eat their carb-loaded goodies right in front of me, leave the food out where I had to look at it, desire it, and eventually snitch some of it. Worse, they’d actually encourage me to cheat by offering to share or whining when I made healthy meals. I absolutely must shrink my liver. If I don’t shrink the liver, the surgery must be cancelled. Therefore, it’s imperative that my weak willpower must be shored up with something. Finally, I had a breakthrough and a tantrum. After I “explained” to Randy how he and Dante were unconsciously sabotaging my diet, he

Meatloaf! We can have this down home comfort food! Yaaay!

I feel as if I could beat my head against a wall. I'm trying oh so very hard to be a good little pre-bandster and shrink my liver as I was told to do. I'm on lapbandtalk.com and I just want to shake some of these women out of sheer envy. They must live alone or something. If I were able to muster the willpower to stay on diets, I'd weigh much less than I do, okay? There. I've admitted it. I have no friggin' willpower. (Breathing in and out to dissipate anger) Okay, I've re-read my notes from the visit with the dietician. If I wrote things down correctly, staying at 30g of carbs a day is optional right now and won't be mandatory until about 7-10 days before surgery. At that time, I'll be forced to go on the 30g/day with no margin for error. Then, two days before surgery, I'll go on a liquid diet. While I'm still wondering at my sanity, at least I feel I can maintain this level of dietary restriction with less stress and guilt when I fail. It's

1. Marinate-- marinate meat in a resealable plastic bag. The easiest marinades have an acid (like citrus juice or a vinegar) and an oil, then add a bit of herbs for flavor. I like to add onions (green, yellow, or red) as well. Throw in the meat, whisk together the marinade, pour it in the bag, remove the air and seal. Mush it around and throw it in the fridge. Discard the marinade before cooking. 2. Rub it in-- Rubs are herb and spice mixes. I recommend making your own. Purchased versions are high in salt. I use a mix of kosher salt, italian seasoning, sage, garlic, and black pepper. 3. Add high-fat flavor in low amounts-- a little cheese and bacon go a long way. 4. Wrap it-- Foil and parchment seal easily and this seals in juices and flavors without adding fat. 5. Roast it- Roasting brings out the sweetness in vegetables and mellows harsh flavors like onions and garlic. All of these are low-carb alternatives to boring food. Live it up! Lena

Where am I in this journey? Somewhere between the circus poodle still jumping through hoops (Arf!) and the dysfunctional machine laying on the gurney for repairs. I saw the shrink yesterday. Nice woman. That marks the end of my visiting specialists. My appointment with the surgeon for a group session is next week. If I understand the process (doubtful) then they'll submit the packet detailing how my weight affects my health for final approval from my insurance. This will be the third approval from the insurance. I have visions of some bean counter at the insurance office typing up a fax saying, "Yes, I'm sure!! Geez, you're worse than my computer!" Just like HysterSisters, everyone tells me the waiting is the worst part. I don't think it's the waiting so much as the long time span from decision to doing it. This is especially true since I learned how few daily carbs I was allowed, and that I needed to start that diet immediately. The fact that it would be

Meatless money-saver!

This is delicious! Try it! While plain fauxtatoes are simply boiled cauliflower you whirl in the food processor, this goes well beyond the ordinary to sublime.

Again, this is easy!

This is fast and easy! I love this, and I serve it over Fauxtatoes (for rice) or peeled and quick-cooked zuchinni strips (to substitute for pasta.)

This is delicious! Go easy on the spaghetti squash. I do recommend adding spices, peppers, and other things to liven up the taste.

I've not tried this. Someone let me know?

Did you know a frittata is an Italian omelet without the folding? That's it. Your only special requirement is an oven proof skillet, and cast iron skillets are available in Wal-mart for cheap. Confetti Frittata (4 servings) 1/4 lb. bulk pork sausage 1/4 cup diced green pepper 1/4 cup sweet red pepper 1/4 cup sweet red onion 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese 1 tsp. Mrs Dash, original (or substitute your own favorite Italian spices) 8 eggs, beaten 1. In large, oven-proof skillet, brown and crumble sausage over medium heat. When there's enough fat cooked out, add the peppers and onion to the skillet and cook thoroughly. Drain the fat off. Spread the meat and veggies to cover the bottom of the skillet evenly. 2. Beat the cheese and spices into the eggs and pour the mixture over the meat and veggies. 3. Turn the burner to low and cover the skillet. If your skillet doesn't have a cover, you can use aluminum foil or a round cookie sheet weighted down with another skillet. Let the fri

This is easy! I recommend making this in advance and keeping it in a storage container in the fridge. Because I'm the only one required to be on a low-carb diet, I just dip out a cup (5 g) or a half cup (2.5 g), depending on my needs. Remember, I'm not allowed to subtract fiber to get net carbs. A carb is a carb where my dietician is concerned.

This is a bit more complicated than a plain old bread pudding, but it's a bit more festive.

Do make the sauce, despite the added carbs. I served this on top of faux rice (made from cauliflower.) I'll post the Cauliflower Rice recipe tomorrow. I make this ahead of time and keep it in the fridge.

IMHO, it's better to *reasonably and with restraint* give in a little to a sweet craving. The trick is to keep within the limits of your low-carb lifestyle. Everything is a little give and take. On days where my sweet tooth is screaming, I try to make something like this dish or a cheesecake and include a serving in my meal plan. So I have to eat more bacon or other no-carb foods to make up for my indulgence. It's worth it...once in awhile. I'll bet you could even switch out the fruit to the lower carb berries and the fruit to a sugar free berry flavor. I'll have to give it a try. Maybe with chopped macadamia nuts? Lena