Rant: "I have a story, and I want YOU to write it for me!"

 

This rant is specifically for non-writers, especially those who “have a story” they’d love another author to write. Don’t think that applies to you? Okay. Let’s make sure. Here’s the scenario:

Author, taking a day off, indulges in a social situation. Friends and family are chattering and swirling about, mixed in with a few folks not well known to the author. For many authors this is a stressful situation. Introverts don’t do well in large groups. It sucks at their energy like leeches, often leaving them drained for days. The author is seriously considering the politest means of escape.

New Person is introduced to Author with starry eyes and bouncing with energy. During the conversation, it’s clear that the New Person has never read one of the author’s books, and perhaps has never even read one from the author’s chosen genre of books. But their eyes shine, and their enthusiasm continues to rise. The Author knows what’s coming and sighs inwardly. “Here we go again.” Sure enough, it comes.

New Person claps hands together and clasps them to chest or other demonstration of heartfelt desire. “I have a story idea you could write!” Please note, dear Reader, the volunteering of the author to write something without even a clear understanding of what the author writes, nor caring if the author already has a work in progress. “I have it all here in my head, like a movie! We could…”

Some authors die inside at this point, kiss their free time at this social event goodbye, and resign themselves listening to someone else’s ideas that bear no relation to anything writeable or saleable. Other authors quickly excuse themselves and flee, vowing to never ever return unless forced at gunpoint.

I am going to do neither, because I recognize the dream and the sincere wish to “help.” There is simply a lack of education and understanding of the work that goes into creating a useful, professional story idea. Firstly, let’s learn the terminology for a story idea: Premise. The “movie in your head” is a plot. You may even have some vague ideas on the characters. It may even be that one bears an uncanny resemblance to your own self-image. (That’s a “Mary Sue,” by the way. It’s not a good thing, generally.)

Many professional authors –not all, I admit—use Premise and Plot as necessary first steps to building a story. Even if some authors don’t formalize the process as I will skim over now. Yes, this will be the tip of the iceberg. Just enough so you know better than to run up with a vague idea without doing the work necessary to be taken even half-seriously. Professionals will indeed sit down with premises and plots, developing characters and worlds in brainstorming sessions that would straighten the most tangled hair you can imagine. This usually involves coffee, cursing, a large waste can, and (when it really gets going) a white board or reams of paper and keyboards. Premises and plots have been written on coffee shop napkins. I’ve done it. But it’s another vague idea until the work has been done.

But first, you need to know the bible of plotting and planning for authors: The Writer’s Journey by Christopher Vogler. Originally written for those who wrote screenplays, it was soon recognized as the definitive work for every story with only rare exceptions. For a new person with a vague idea, consider it the bible that defines The Laws of Writing. You can learn the sects, exceptions, and arguments after you have some experience and understanding. You must learn the rules before you can learn the exceptions.

The Writer’s Journey explains how every story has certain points that almost always must happen. The hero must be called to the adventure. He or she will resist that call until something gets them personally involved. The lore master(s) will give them information they need or provide mentorship. The villain will make his/its/their move. There will be a stop and smell the roses moment. There will be a Black Moment when all seems lost. There will be a moment when the hero claims the prize and walks into a new reality. There will be many “moments” that follow a logical progression of events. This progression is so ubiquitous, there is a Golden Rule in Writing: There are NO new plots. There are only great stories told in new and exciting ways.

Once you accept that Golden Rule, we can now move on. Believe it or not, this makes the job of premise and plot easier…and harder. I’ll show you.

Premise: A <character>, in a <situation>, wants/needs <something>. There stands in the way of that want a <blockage>, and there will be a <disaster> if the want is not achieved. See? It’s fill in the blank. You need everything in between the brackets. Now plug in that marvelous idea you had. Your character. The situation. The Wanted Thing. The Blockage. The Disaster. Need a little practice? Let’s use the movie, The Wizard of Oz. Everyone knows that one. A rebellious teen, living on a farm in Kansas in the Great Depression, needs to save her beloved dog from the rich, wicked spinster who will have him killed. Then, it changes and becomes even more dramatic. Now the rebellious teen is in a magical land and to get back home she must make a long journey while the witch seeks her life all the way.  Now back up a little on that one. It’s good for a start, but you may wish to make it less specific, so you see the generic nature of ALL plots and premises. Rebellious youth from a rural environment in an unfamiliar place must make a long journey while a fugitive with a price on their head to attain what they have with them. (Hey, waitaminit…when did we switch to Star Wars?)

Congratulations. You have achieved step one. You have learned all the parts of a premise. Now go practice. Watch a movie or a TV drama. The good, engaging ones have given you a story where your heart aches for the hero/heroine and their situation. You empathize with their need, rage at the blockage, and bite your nails until they have averted disaster. Have all the elements of the premise in place. This is not a case of “Oh, EVERYONE understands EVIL!” No, the absolute best villains have a real reason for their actions. Nutballs don’t make good villains. Evil geniuses with plans that make sense and have reasons (even if you don’t like the reason) are much scarier. Even Godzilla had been awakened by nuclear bombing. There are a lot of people who are plenty scary when you wake them up and feel they have a reason to be grumpy, right?

Okay, so you have a good, complete premise. Everyone has a reason to be there. We won’t get into world-building or character development. You can read about that for yourself in the book, The Writer’s Journey. Yes, I mention it a lot. There are a few ubiquitous books in every profession. The Writer’s journey, the dictionary, a good baby name book, and a thesaurus are essential to a fiction writer. You can go from there for references appropriate to your needs.

Now we get back to that plot thing. This is that “movie in your head” that so many starry-eyed would-be writers claim to see. Some may even hear snippets of dialogue. Very few have a whole movie, start to finish, with sound and scripting, in a logical order. If you do, check with The Writer’s Journey (TWJ) and write it yourself. You’re set. Most people have a set of vignettes that have some sort of a logical order but do not tell a complete story with highs, lows, adversity, triumphs, failures, and character growth. I happily share a grid where each has been set in its logical place but remember that I write romance and I include the full monte associated with relationships. Your mileage may vary greatly. For those that write other genres, you may be better off following the original on page 303 of TWJ until you see the pattern in your own genre.

I will use the male pronoun for now. Please understand and accept I refer to all heroic archetypes no matter what their gender.  The hero’s ordinary world is disrupted, but his call to adventure is refused. He gets more information from the mentor, and finally crosses the threshold to adventure because now it’s personal. There are tests, allies, and enemies. There will be an approach to what they know the final trial will be and how they prepare. There will be an ordeal. There will be a reward. There may be a road back to face and a resurrection of self along the way. Finally, they return with the prize and have their final triumph. Remember that dropping the characters into hell is what you should do. Rip out their hearts metaphorically so the readers live in the story.

All done? Have you got that plot all nicely arranged with at least the beginnings of a fully detailed story? Great! You can now make a presentation to the author that is as close to professional as you, an amateur, can make it. So…let me ask you a question. Why are you asking them to write it instead of yourself? Are you looking for a shortcut to bypass the agents and the rejections? There’s no shortcut. No way to cheat the system. All but the best authors with million-dollar contracts still must submit their work to an editor, proofers, and the publisher for approval. No one is fool enough to do without editors and proofers without paying the price in typos, mistakes, inconsistencies, and other problems editors and proofers are trained to find. Submit the manuscript to the editors knowing you may indeed get a ripped and bleeding thing back that was once your “baby” and humbly submit to the critique with a meek “Thank you.” You’ll learn to mean that gratitude eventually.

If you are not willing to do the writing yourself, feel free to pass it on to an author who will either reject it as something they don’t feel a connection to write, or they will accept it and write their own story using it. And once you hand it over, you have no more rights to it. It’s a plot, like a map. Just because you have a map does not mean you own the territory on the map. I guarantee the author WILL NOT write the same story you see in your head. It is impossible to do so unless you physically stand over them and dictate every word. Hire a typist if that’s what you want. You could hand out that plot to six different authors. Each will write what they see in their head, not yours. No book will be the same. Let it go. And that may be the hardest lesson to learn about being an author.