What Should Be in a Death Letter of Intent

A letter of intent should never replace a will, but it can help supplement or update a will. It can provide information such as "Beneficiary X has died, so Beneficiary B has now become the sole heir of all my jewelry" and "My beloved kitty Luna has passed on. There is no need for a provision for her care in the will." As long as you update your letter of intent annually, it can serve to save a lot of money rather than updating the will, and can keep locations of documents, lists of beneficiaries, and debt information much more accurate.

 

This can save endless pain and conflict between family members because it is an accurate, up-to-date proof of your wishes, where things are, and can serve to assist your friends and family in easing the pain of having to deal with what's left of your stuff after you're gone. We all have stuff, and while it's precious to us, 90% of it is junk to someone else.

 

There's also the problem of internet security and identity theft. Identity theft of the deceased is the low-hanging fruit of the criminal world without smart planning. Do you really want to be the screen behind which  a Russian crime kingpin breaks into the next big supply chain for ransom?

 

My husband died without a will and without life insurance. He and I had discussed many times that he wanted to be an organ donor. He wanted to be cremated and returned to the sea, where he'd been so happy being in the Navy. He wanted no memorial service, no funeral of any kind. He really didn't even want me to cry. (Fat chance. I cried. A lot.) The problem was, he was afraid some of his family might want to make a big deal of his death. Maybe bury him with a headstone and have the kind of funeral he hated. He wanted his clothes to go to the homeless. I made sure they did. I'm sure he smiled when his wool Navy peacoat helped a shivering skinny young man begging on the side of the road. But I didn't know his passwords. I had to dig through papers to find his DD214 and only by sheer luck did I find his social security card. There were no messages to his daughters or grandchildren. It's a shame. His books went to a used bookstore. The quilt with airplanes I made for him is being sent at long last to his eldest grandson, after waiting for that toddler to grow into a teen.

 

My roommate had it even worse. There were deep religious differences and Dave had been cut out of his grandparents' will. His father had never divulged any of the amounts or locations of any accounts to either of his sons. He'd made his funeral wishes known, but without the money, how could the sons pay for it? They had to travel three times from their homes in other states to New Jersey to dig through a hoarder's mess to find a few clues, some minor bank accounts, and little else. There was just enough to pay for a modest funeral. No will was found. No insurance information. Most of the personal belongings had to go into the dumpster because they couldn't afford but one truck rental to bring a few precious mementos home. It's likely that there's a small fortune out there from the grandparents in a bank somewhere, untouched. The brothers, less divided by religion than previous generations, can only shrug and hope someday to find it.

 

A letter of intent may include:

1. Funeral wishes. Do you want to be an organ donor?
2. List of personal contacts
3. List of Business and Financial contacts including Bank accounts and insurance information
4. Location of Legal documents such as DD214, Will, trusts, income tax documents, social security cards, etc.
5. Usernames and Passwords and instructions on what information you'd like destroyed and what accounts to close. After all, you don't want anyone using those pictures or reading that poetry, do you?
6. Outstanding Debt information
7. List of Beneficiaries
8. Personal Belongings and how you would like them disposed, what charities you'd prefer they'd go to, etc.
9. Do you have personal messages you'd like to make? Were they video recordings or written or typed and saved on media?

 Best of all, the Letter of Intent is updateable! Every year, say at New Year's, you can nurse your hangover and update your passwords and make changes as needed. 

It's stage one of getting your stuff in one sock, and so easy. Think about it. 

 

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