2020 in one post

Globally, we are now into our seventh month of this pandemic. These various quotes made me laugh, which I SO needed.  📷

1. So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap?

2. Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.

3. When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.

4. If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians and bureaucrats.

5. Just wait a second – so what you're telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?

6. People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.

7. If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.

8. Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized the trash goes out more than me.

9. Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.

10. Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.

11. The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: 1. How dense the population is and 2. How dense the population is.

12. Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?

13. It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.

14. Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.

If you giggled, laughed, or snorted at any of these, do what I did - copy, paste, and post so your friends can enjoy them too!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Forgiving Myself and Literally Moving On

Okay, I confess. You haven't seen much of me lately because I've been naughty. I fell off the wagon and piled on ten pounds. Could I blame stress? Yeah, but the point is that no one put a gun to my head and made me eat more carbs. I did it. I think the point is to forgive myself and get back on the bandwagon. There will be days like today (Thanksgiving) where I'll indulge. However, I can say no to certain things like mashed potatoes and dressing and say yes to things like more turkey. I had just a sliver of pumpkin pie instead of pigging out. For me, total denial means I get resentful and eventually defiant. Giving in to a little and having what I want in reasonable portions means I avoid a self-hating binge in secret later. So, now I have to come up with strategies to increase my calorie burn when I can't control what I eat. That means increasing my exercise. That's as easy as getting out of the chair. I can take a walk or dance to my MP3 player. I can do a lot of ...
Read more

Is Humiliation Part of the Treatment?

Just how much humiliation am I supposed to take? Today was a group session at the surgeon’s. You know what I learned? What an ass one of the surgeons is. That’s it. After the weigh in, in which I gained a whole half-pound, we had the usual and repetitive lecture on how important it is we shrink our livers. I was feeling pretty good about my weight, actually. I’d had a full bladder and heavy winter clothing on, but the scale said only half a pound. I could live with that. I knew also I’d had a few too many macadamia nuts over the past few days and vowed to cut them out. Finally, the surgeon appeared. He was as handsome as rumor had claimed. I had a hard time understanding his accent, since he was from South Africa. The Afrikaners I’ve known can seem to mumble a bit to our American ears. I’d had an Afrikaner teacher back in real estate school and I’d adored him, so I was prepared to like the surgeon, Dr. Cywes. How wrong I was. After introducing himself and matching faces to files, he im...
Read more

The Best Spices-- Never say Low Carb is bland again

Image
Our Spices Gifts & Accessories Recipes Blog Events Our Stores St. Patrick's Day the Right Way. For  real home made brined corned beef, you need to get started soon, as you need around two weeks for the brining process. St. Patrick's Day is one of our favorite holidays here in Chicago, and not just because the river is dyed green .  With our long history in the meat industry, we love any holiday that traditionally features a giant piece of slowly marinated beef.  Sure, you can get pre-made or quick-cooking corned beef, but for the real thing, you need to start with good beef and let it brine until it's perfectly flavored and meltingly tender.  Our brine recipe will give you the best corned beef, whether you eat it straight, slice it into Reubens, or make...
Read more