That Which Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

It's been a stressful two months with my husband out of work. We saw financial ruin at every turn and panicked daily at 3 AM. I'm a stress eater, and for awhile there I tested my band and hovered at gaining weight despite a band with close to 9 cc's in it. I gained and lost, adding more unnecessary stress to my life. Even when I thought I was watching my carbs, I refused to keep a food log. I truly believed I was limiting my stress by allowing myself some freedom. (Self-delusion time! Call me Cleopatra, Queen of Denial!)


This weekend, I decided "enough is enough" and went back to my doctor's advice about keeping a food log. Immediately, I got results. The two pounds I'd gained dropped off me, and I was shocked to discover I once again –quite deservedly, I might add!-- had to go through with withdrawal from my carb addiction.


I'm now back on track and less than one pound away from where I was when all my troubles and stress began. I now know the value of my food log and I will not stray away from it again. Someday, perhaps in the not-so-distant future, I'll be able to maintain a decent weight without logging every morsel I put in my mouth, or perhaps occasionally forgiving myself for a slice of birthday cake on my birthday. But today is not that day, and I love my smaller body size and healthier lifestyle too much to consider a quick stroke of a pen a hardship.
 
Lena Austin
http://www.LenaAustin.com
http://depravedduchess.blogspot.com

Comments

Sandy said…
Hey Lena...Remember me? We met at the bathroom on surgery day? LOL I'm a little teary right now. I haven't been around the forum much at all. Hiding in shame. I was so afraid to see what your result were bc everyone seems to have had such dramatic results in the 6 months that have passed and I...gained. My 4 year old was sick and we went in for chest xrays to see if she had an upper respiratory infection and on the xray they saw what turned out to be a large tumor just above her heart next to her spine. Our lives were turned upside down for 2 months driving back and forth to and from appts at Nemours with oncologists, hematologists and surgeons and then we had to wait 2 weeks after she finally had her surgery for lab results to come in and...I ate and ate and ate. In all of that time, I had not been in to get fills so I had no restriction TO test. The results were mature ganglioneuroma which is benign. Wonderful news! But then I had to snap back to reality and here I am. I had gotten down to 239 before I fell off the band wagon, lol. I'm at 244 now and for the fist time I got the band, have actually felt like THIS is how it was suppose to work...and I wasn't really happy with that at first, lol. I think it may have been a bit too tight at first...or maybe i was just trying to eat too much at first? I still gained the first 2 and a half weeks after he filled me which made NO sense to me bc I could barely eat anything and I was lowcarbing but I guess Im finally at my sweet spot. I cant tell you what a relief it was to see that I was not alone in my struggle to adjust to this thing. Im really sorry to hear about ur hubby. I hope that things will start looking up for you guys very soon! :)
Lena Austin said…
Sandy!! ::HUG:: What a horrible time you've had! You poor darling! Yeah, I'd stress eat too!

DH is still out of work, but we're struggling along.

I think we'll eventually lose the house, and I'm reconciled to the humiliation. I just hope DH can find work before they kick us out.

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