Anticipation (singing) AKA the Pre-Op Hospital Visit

Today is my pre-op visit at the hospital. Am I scared? You bet your bippy. I had a long talk with the representative of the anesthesia department. She called to verify information and fill out her paperwork with a pile of questions. Here are some of the highlights of that conversation in no particular order:'

She strongly suggests I talk to the doc about having a pic line established because I'm such a hard stick for IVs and blood draws. Being a violent needle phobic, I'll agree to just about anything that keeps me away from the lab rats. It's not their fault I'm a hard stick and they're not trained for that.

Only problem with a pic line is the timing. I'm supposed to arrive for surgery prep at 0-dark-five-thirty (The O stands for Oh MY GOD it's early!) the day after a holiday. Do I want a hungover anesthetist who gets called in after only an hour or two of sleep to put a tube in my veins? Uh, no. The alternative is for me to come in one day early on New Year's Day before the close of business hours and get the line established. Hopefully, whoever had to work on NYD had the sense enough not to party the night before.

Hey, I wouldn't mind hanging around overnight and waiting for my surgery the next morning. Once the pic line is established, they can pretty much do with me as they will. Theory is, the lab rats will be able to draw from the pic line, saving us all a lot of pain and humiliation. Yeah, yeah. That's the theory.

She also told me the hospital policy is that all patients with severe apnea like me usually end up staying overnight. Seems those with a CPAP machine are difficult to awaken from anesthesia. I know from past experience I am one of those. I don't awaken easily, and it takes a long time to get me coherent. No smart comments from the peanut gallery that I'm not coherent anyway, so how will they tell the difference! I see you all smirking. Okay, so I'll bring an overnight bag. Big fat hairy deal.

Okay, so moving right along...

What I find interesting is that the hospital has --get this!!-- valet parking. No, this is not Boca Raton or Palm Beach. This is Jacksonville, FL for goodness sake! I'm a born Florida Cracker (and that is NOT the same thing as a redneck thankyouverymuch, but a nod to the cattlemen that settled this area and were famous for their abilities with whips. See? I come by it genetically.)

I hope I remember to bring my PDA. I'm working the EPPIES as a judge, and I've some work to catch up on if I can. I love judging and have even found some new authors to watch for. It's been a real pleasure.

Well, to settle my nerves I think I'll play a world-conquering game I'm very fond of called "Command and Conquer-- Tiberian Sun." That keeps me occupied with lots of killing and destruction. Fun thing is, one of the things I get to blow up regularly is a hospital.

Lena

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